Monday, February 15, 2010


What the Animal Had, I Had

I was hungry, man.

I needed something. I just got off that stupid drug and my new thing was to eat. And drink had been lame. I needed a total cleanse. I mean, I had no money. All I could think about was food. I had a banana.
"well shit!" I thought, " If you're hungry! Eat the God damn thing!"
I was in a hit of a shuffle! Ready to eat.
I had a hiccup. It came straight out of my diaphram. That stopped me from wanting a bite.
So i pondered "why not?", why shouldn't i eat this banana?
Then the hiccups just got worse. God damn those hiccups. It drove me wild. I sounded like a machine gun! I couldn't eat my banana like this. It wasn't enough. I put the fucking thing inside my jacket pocket. Holding on to it as I walked. My voice rattled along just like a gun. i gestured with my hands.
" Damn, this banana looks pretty real!" I thought.
the next thing I knew I should do was go to the seven eleven.
It's the one without slushies.
I walked in through the door like I had my dick in my hand.
"Get your fucking hands up, fucker!" I said to the clerk.
She was a pretty young girl with blond curly hair.
Looked emaciated. Just a bit. I had my attitude high and that dick was throbbin' to get sucked!
" Okay lucky charm! this is what you do. You give me some of that money and you won't get shot. Got it?" I hollered.
She was about 16 and scared.
"Okay! Okay!" were her last words.
"Let's not waste any time here, fucker! Give me the fucking-" Hiccup, "money right now."
I even added a squeal.
Now i felt embarrassed. My voice hasn't cracked since high school. She started to laugh hysterically.
"My voice hasn't cracked since high school!" as I tried to persuade her.
My banana seems to have no use. Laughing, she was ready to call the cops. She was ready to hiss and telp while talkin' to the pigs.

You can call me lucky charms.

Why? Cause a fucking SUV rammed right into that beautiful young body and I squeezed my banana too hard (I made the most of that banana). The vehicle ran through the glass windows and killed the Clerk. The driver seemed alright. He was just a bit bloody and incoherent. There were shards on the floor but it looked nicer than the plain white tile.

I didn't really want the money, not like this.
I grabbed a few bags of cheetos and ran out like a cheetah.

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